Paris je' taime..really?

I should have blog about it the minute i arrived Malaysia but as u all know that procrastination has been my worst best friend, the delay seems to be too long to bear. Just like the freaking chilling effect to the bones of the air cond in my office, it constantly reminding myself that i've finally left my footprint on one of my dream destination wishlist, and its time for me to share the moment here. So to cut the story short, it has not been the best week of my life before i embark the journey to the land of love, Paris. Basically a lot of crazy unimaginable hurt ive been through, i just want some device to take me and drop me somewhere else but not HERE there and there. But reality check, I'm not in the Wars of the World movie so beat that.
It started from KL - Singapore by COACH. that 'almost 7 hours journey' really worn me out. Then i realized that pepperspray are not allowed in Singapore. oh geez, so i surrendered it and have to make a police report at the immigration office. that took me about like 30 minutes late. but not too worry, never really wanted to stop around Singapore and beside the next flight is only at night. My desire to visit Paris is already fading this morning. The pain i've to go through is simply unbearable. Its like if my heart could speak, it will bleed till it went dry. But sometimes I got to keep a straight face, swallow all those misery and keep my head held high even though i know i dont deserve all this nonsense. I ask GOD many times, but HE did not answer nor ignore me. Coz if HE did ignore me, I might be DEAD by then. yeah and im serious about that!!


In the flight, while i was staring at the window, i have my moment of thoughts and the tear drops just like the rain that night. Probably for the first time in my life that my anticipation has turned totally 360 degree altogether.My feeling has lead me down BIG time. How can i not be happy about visiting PARIS, i can only wonder and answered myself with the deep wound from the past and even present that deteriorating.

The worst part is that i wasnt allow to be sad/cried about, as if i was forced to be happy outside, when the fact is i was really dying inside..slowly and painfully.